dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
