She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
