youre lurking in front of me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
