One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
