Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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