he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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