we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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