normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
