Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
