Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
