My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The uberlube is also flammable
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
