Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
