i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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