I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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