Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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