i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
