is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
