Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
