I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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