hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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