Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
