Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
