to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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