Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
