Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
