South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
