we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
