so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
