Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
