i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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