You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
