ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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