Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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