walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
