After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
as a side note pls kill me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
