How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
