just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
