Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
