He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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