I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
