FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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