Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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