you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize