Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
