I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
