mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
