omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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