a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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