So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
