how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
