How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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