Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
