I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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