I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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