I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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