Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
