Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
