I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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