It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ttyl tear gas
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
