Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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