She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
