Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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