I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
